Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Cliff's Club Football Breakdown

In honor of tomorrow's Champion's League final between Barcelona FC and Arsenal FC- the first game that I can honestly say I really, really give a shit about (I've watched and rooted for teams sure, but this is different) I give you my end of the season European Football wrap up:

Barclay's English Premiere League:
The odious Chelsea and Manchester United took the two top spots, due most likely to their assorted bullshit. Liverpool tried (gotta root for the Beatles' hometown), Arsenal poisoned Tottenham* to clinch the final Champions League spot for next year, and my north country Bolton Wanderers crapped out near the end enough to miss European cup play altogether. I always root for the newly promoted teams and amazingly enough Wigan and West Ham (The Hammers!) landed in the top 10. Sunderland however died a horrible death along with Black Sabbath's Birmingham, both of which got relegated along with Birmingham neighbour West Bromwich Albion. No doubt alcohol consumption in that region of England has tripled...

I don't give a shit about France or Germany. Lyon and Bayern Munich always wins that shit.

Italy's Serie A:
Juventus (a team I used to root for before I found out they are considered "odious" by everybody else in Italy) and AC Milan (Berlusconi's AC Milan) are under investigation for all sorts of wrong doing and just might lose their championship in disgrace. Gotta love that Italian soccer. The "best" fans in the world (ie crazy).

Spain's La Liga:
My Barcelona FC took the top spot and beat Real Madrid (Franco's Real Madrid) down. Of all the European Leagues I confess that I like Spain's the best, and the best soccer moment of the year had to be Espanyol's heroic avoidance of relegation with an extra time goal that sent Gol TV's Scotsman and the Espanyol faithful into paroxyisms of joy and disbelief.

And no I don't watch soccer all the time... just TiVO'd highlight shows, which alas will be ending until August. But now it's time to get ready for BARCELONA FC and the Champions League.

And then... THE WORLD CUP.

* Okay, it was an airborne virus and not food poisoning (although who's to say Arsenal didn't pull some James Bond shit? The Champions is muy, muy importante).

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